JOHN STILES

I became very good at shutting people out

by John Stiles

I became very good at shutting people out, sitting

In a park writing on the back of a Euronews ‘do not call’ list,

ignoring people around me, but not really ignoring.

Not really.

On a day I didn’t show at work, stopped by the security

guard at the British Library, is that a pen?

“Leave that on the ledge, you can purchase a pencil

at the desk for 36 p.”

Young students look up from their laptops, ipads, ipods,

Wired-up with headphones, ready to take on the world.

That tension, just boiling. At least you are not

Funneling through the gates at Liverpool Street on the train from Shenfield

 Eyeing the female fine inspectors from Eastern Europe –

Who have their eyes on you, too.

‘Touched by madness’ read a bit in The Guardian

about the death of Lucien Freud. You look at the guard

and think she’d be fun to drink with

but actually you’d rather vault the gates and run.